Losing Faith In Happy Endings
by seaoftrouble
Summary: UPDATED 4-25-12. An unexpected death causes Tony's life to spin out of control. Special Agent Jethro Gibbs tries to help him, but you can't save a person who doesn't want to be saved. WARNING: story contains spanking of an adult. NO LIKE? DON'T READ
1. Between The Lines of Fear and Blame

**Title: Losing Faith In Happy Endings**

**Summary: **An unexpected death causes Tony's life to spin out of control. Special Agent Jethro Gibbs tries to help him, but you can't save a person who doesn't want to be saved. **WARNING: story will contain non-sexual discipline of adults in later chapters, if that's not your cup of tea, don't read!**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. The following story is for fan entertainment only.

* * *

**Chapter One: Between The Lines of Fear and Blame**

"How's your apartment looking?" Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs asked his senior agent. The pair were sitting at his kitchen table, drinking coffee and enjoying the warmth of the sunlight filtering through the kitchen window. Agent Anthony DiNozzo was absently flipping through the morning paper, occasionally sipping at his coffee.

"Ah, it's worse than they thought. I guess there's a problem with the pipes in the whole building. The water's off in the whole place" He set the paper down and stifled a yawn "I'm not overstaying my welcome, am I?"

"Not yet" Gibbs said as he eyed the sports section. Tony gave his boss a smile and got up to rinse out his mug. It had been two weeks since the younger man had shown up at his house at three in the morning with his duffle bag slung over his shoulder, explaining that there was a broken pipe and he needed a place to stay. Gibbs hadn't hesitated to share his home, it wasn't the first time he had opened his door for the younger man. He didn't mind Tony's company, even though the senior agent had a bad habit of leaving wet towels on the floor and drinking milk straight from the carton. A good slap to the head had always remedied those problems, but something about Tony's most recent stay just seemed…off.

"You mind if I ride to work with you? I forgot to put gas in my car last night" Tony asked as he placed his mug on the drying rack. He was still trying to convince Gibbs to get a dishwasher.

"Sure" Gibbs said, getting up and placing his coffee mug in the sink.

"Um, I'll meet you outside" Tony was checking all his pockets. "Think I left my badge in my room"

"Your gun, too" Gibbs noticed.

"I'll be in the car" Gibbs said. Tony nodded and disappeared down the hall.

As Gibbs rinsed his mug and placed it besides Tony, he wondered if Tony was forgetting a lot of things lately, or if he just noticing more because he had been spending more time with the young agent. He could never find his car keys, two of his last three case reports had been late and he forgot to set his alarm more times than he remembered. Gibbs made a mental note to further observe Tony's atypical behavior as he grabbed his jacket and slipped out the front door.

In the driveway, Gibbs noticed Tony's car window was down. It was sunny now, but Gibbs could see dark clouds to the east threatening rain, so he opened the driver's side door to roll it up. He glanced at the gas meter and couldn't help noticing the needle was on the half full mark. Tony wasn't the type of person to leave his car unlocked with the window down. And it was worrying the older man that Tony had either lied about needing gas or forgot that he didn't. He sighed and got into his car.

On the drive to work, Gibbs kept glancing at Tony and wondering why he hadn't tried to turn the station. He hated Gibbs choice in music, or lack there of. A monotonous voice flowed through the car speakers, informing its listeners of gas prices and exchange rates. Tony seemed not to notice, he kept chatting on about some movie Gibbs had never heard of but Tony insisted he would love. Gibbs pondered interrupting Tony and asking about his car, but figured that the conversation could wait till later in the day.

At work, the day was dragging. There were no pressing cases and Tony had been buzzing around Gibbs's desk the whole morning.

"Hey, boss. Check this out" Tony was back at Gibbs' desk waving his cell phone in his boss' face. "I just got this new version of Tetris—"

"What have I told you about games at work, DiNozzo?" Gibbs said, slightly exasperated.

A frown settled on the younger man's face as he closed his cell and shoved it back into his pocket.

"Right boss, sorry" Tony returned to his desk, but had journeyed back to Gibbs three more times before noon to compare facts on old case files.

When lunch finally rolled around, Tony asked if Gibbs wanted to grab a bite with him at some new restaurant he'd heard about from Abby.

"Thanks, but I already ordered Chinese" Gibbs said, not wanting to be bombarded with movie facts while he was trying to eat.

"Oh, maybe Monday then?" Tony sounded rejected, but didn't take Ziva up on her offer to join him.

Gibbs lost track of how many times Tony returned to his desk and tried to ignore the part of him that was hoping for an urgent case to get him out of the office.

"So, what are we doing tonight? Are you working on your boat? Cause I was reading about this new wax—"

"DiNozzo, I was actually planning on a quite night… alone" Gibbs interrupted, wondering why the hell Tony was reading his boat magazines.

"Oh, I actually have plans with a few buddies of mine anyway" Tony said quickly, looking wounded. Gibbs tried not to notice the hurt look on the younger man's face, but he _really_ needed a break from Tony.

When they arrived home, Tony didn't bother to change before heading out. He didn't even enter the house, just went straight to his car and drove off.

Gibbs had been enjoying his quite night alone with his boat, until his cell rang, vibrating on the sawdust covered workbench. He dropped his tools and picked up the phone. He didn't recognize the number.

"What?" He stated.

"Jethro?" A male voice asked.

"Oh, hey Jimmy" Gibbs recognized the voice as Officer Swanston, a local cop he sometimes played poker with.

"Sorry to bother you this late, but I got a guy down here claiming he works with you. Says his name's DiNozzo"

Gibbs sighed. "Yeah, he's one of mine. What'd ya bring him in for?" Gibbs asked, rubbing his brow.

"Drunk and disorderly. Got a call from Slim's bar over on 23rd. He was in a fight with some girl's boyfriend and he started to yell about being a federal agent and he was going to have him arrested. He didn't have a badge on him"

Gibbs sighed again and tried to get a hold of his anger.

"How drunk is he?"

"Enough to think he's not in any trouble" the officer sounded slightly amused.

"Alright, I'll be there as soon as I can" Gibbs flipped his phone shut and cursed under his breath, thinking he would have been better off inviting Tony to help him with his boat. He spent the drive down to the station thinking of creative ways to kill his senior agent, but when he actually walked through the doors, he was more worried about him.

Gibbs followed Officer Swanston to the holding cell. He saw Tony sitting in the corner, grinning stupidly and chatting to the other man in the cell.

"You can understand why I didn't believe him. Not appropriate behavior for a federal agent"

"Not appropriate behavior for anyone" Gibbs said glumly, shooting Tony a look that was lost on him. He was busy explaining to the man next to him about the joys of working with his boss and Gibbs wasn't sure the younger agent even knew he was there.

"…and he's always slapping my head, but it's okay cause I know he doesn't mean it, and he likes to build boats in his basement…" Gibbs resisted the urge to roll his eyes at Tony's yaking.

"The other guy wants to press charges, there's not much I can do about that. You'll have to post bail to get him out of here"

"I understand. I'll be up front signing the papers, bring him up, will you?"

"Sure thing, Jethro" Gibbs shot Tony a final look before heading back to the front. The younger man had no idea how much he had screwed up. Getting arrested for starting a bar fight wouldn't exactly help his career.

Gibbs collected Tony's cell from the woman at the release desk and paid his bail. His gun and badge had been in the glove compartment of his car, which was now in the police impound. He'd have to leave it there for the night; Tony obviously wasn't driving anytime soon.

"Hey Boss!" Tony slurred, emerging from the holding cells with an officer on his arm.

"Lets go, DiNozzo" Gibbs grabbed the back of Tony's coat and guided him out of the station and roughly shoved him into the car.

"Thanks for the ride man, I think my car got towed" Gibbs didn't respond, just gripped the steering wheel tightly. He really wanted to give Tony a good, hard, slap to the back of the head.

"Hey boss, there was this girl and, man, she was so hot. You'd a liked her, she was a redhead" Tony was grinning like an idiot again.

"This the same girl whose boyfriend you beat up?" Gibbs asked.

"Wha? I didn't beat up anyone" Tony slurred, looking surprised.

"Then why did I just have to bail your ass out of jail at three in the morning?" Gibbs yelled, startling Tony. The younger man looked at him blankly.

_He was arrested? He remembered a girl with long auburn hair, and some guy who wouldn't leave him alone, maybe he was in fight with him?_

"I did? I'm sure he started it. I wouldn't—"

"DiNozzo! Not another word!" Tony finally shut up. He rested his head against the window and was asleep by the time they got back to Gibbs' house.

"Out of the car, DiNozzo" Gibbs said as the turned off the engine. Tony didn't stir, so Gibbs tried shaking his shoulder, but got no response. Gibbs got out of the car and opened Tony's door, nudging the younger man again.

"Goway,m' sleeping" Tony mumbled. Gibbs hauled him out of the car and threw his arm over his shoulder. He dragged Tony into the house and dropped him onto the couch, causing Tony to moan. Gibbs looked down at the younger man and noticed that Tony's face didn't hold the usual peacefulness of someone in a deep sleep. His eyes seemed to be closed tighter than necessary and his lip was curled slightly like there was a foul odor in the air. Gibbs wanted to ignore how young Tony looked, he wanted to be mad at him, but he found that his anger was fading. He grabbed an afghan from the back of the couch and placed it over Tony's sleeping form.

"Get some sleep, Tony" He said quietly.

_TBC..._

A/N: having never been arrested, I don't know how police terms and procedures and such, so forgive any mistakes, por favor.


	2. Let You In

**Title: Losing Faith In Happy Endings**

**Summary: **An unexpected death causes Tony's life to spin out of control. Special Agent Jethro Gibbs tries to help him, but you can't save a person who doesn't want to be saved. **WARNING: story will contain non-sexual discipline of adults in later chapters, if that's not your cup of tea, don't read!**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. The following story is for fan entertainment only.

* * *

**Chapter Two: Let You In**

Tony opened his eyes and groaned as the bright sunlight filtering through the bay window bleached away his dreams, leaving him with a pounding headache and overwhelming urge to run to the head. He sat up, noticing he was on the couch in Gibbs' living room and not in the guest room where he had expected to be.

As he headed to the bathroom, he tried to remember the events of the last night, but he could only recall bits and pieces. Someone had been playing Coldplay on the radio, probably at a bar? Where else would he have been drinking? He couldn't remember how he got home, he hoped he hadn't tried to drive. Gibbs? Had he picked him up? Was he at the police station? _Shit. _

Tony hurried back to the living room to look for his car keys. He could hear sounds from the basement telling Tony that Gibbs was working on his boat. He wanted to get out of the house before Gibbs realized he was awake. He wasn't up for a lecture at that moment, and certainly not one from his boss. He was thankful that it was Saturday and he wouldn't have to see Gibbs for another two days.

He couldn't find his keys, so he headed towards the front door. Maybe he left him in the car? When he opened the door, he discovered that his car was no where in sight. _Great._ Tony thought. He reached into his pocket for his cell, but discovered that it too, was missing. Heading back to the kitchen to call a cab, Tony stopped dead in his tracks when he heard Gibbs' voice.

"Going somewhere, DiNozzo?"

Tony swallowed. "Ah, hey boss" Tony turned to face the older man. "I, um, just got a call from my landlord. They got the leak fixed" Tony tried, hoping Gibbs wouldn't ask any more questions and just let him leave.

"No, they didn't" Tony's eyes went wide as Gibbs held Tony's cell out to him. "Your car is at the police impound."

"Oh" Tony said weakly, taking the phone from Gibbs.

"Want to tell me what's going on with you?"

"I don't know what you mean"

"Come on, DiNozzo. You haven't exactly been yourself lately" Gibbs said, giving Tony one of his patented looks.

Tony didn't want to be having this conversation now. His head was killing him and he needed a shower.

"I just haven't been sleeping well" Tony said, nervously shifting his feet.

"I called your building"

"You what?"

"I talked to your landlord. He said there's no problem with the plumbing"

"What, you don't trust me now?" Tony asked, surprised that Gibbs was investigating him.

"That's not what this is about. Why are you lying to me?"

"Okay, there's nothing wrong with my place, I just didn't want to be there, okay?"

"Why?"

"I don't need to tell you"

"You do if you want to keep staying here"

"Fine, I'll leave then" Tony headed towards the front door, but Gibbs blocked the way.

"DiNozzo, come on. Why don't you just tell me what's going on?"

"It's nothing" Tony said, his voice betraying his words.

"I think it's something" Gibbs said softly, stepping closer to the younger man. Seeing the emotion on Tony's face, there was no longer any doubt that there was something troubling his younger agent, and he was determined to find out what it was before it consumed him.

"Just leave me alone" Tony said, his voice cracking. He didn't want this. He didn't need someone getting involved in his problems, and he really didn't want Gibbs to see him break down, and the way this conversation was heading, that was exactly what was going to happen.

"Tony" Gibbs said as he placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"No" Tony shrugged Gibbs' hand off his shoulder and tried to push the older man out of his way. Gibbs grabbed his arm and shoved him against the wall. Gibbs knew Tony needed to talk, and he was determined to make sure that happened. The younger man struggled wildly, but Gibbs held him tight.

"Tell me what's wrong" Gibbs said, the gentleness in his voice not matching the rough hold he had on the younger man.

"No" Tony breathed.

"Tell me" Gibbs said again, feeling like he was talking to a child.

"No" came Tony's reply, only this time sounding more shaken. He was scared of the change in Gibbs, of being vulnerable in front of him, of his secrets being let out.

"It's okay, tell me" The soft tone in the older man's voice cut through him like a knife and Tony choked out a sob.

"I can't" he said sorrowfully, a tear slid down his cheek that his boss couldn't see.

"You can. It's tearing you up, you need to let it out" Gibbs said as he released his hold on Tony. Tony turned and Gibbs saw the tears in his eyes.

"Jeanne" That relationship had ended months ago. Why was Tony falling apart now? He nodded for Tony to continue.

"I missed her so much. I was wrong, for not choosing her, and I thought I could fix everything, get her back…I tried calling, but I couldn't get a hold of her, so I went to see her" Tony stopped his rambling, his voice faltering.

"What happened?"

"She's dead. All this time I thought there would still be a chance, but now she's gone" Tony sucked in a breath before continuing. "It's my fault she's dead"

Gibbs pulled Tony to him and the younger man all but collapsed into his arms. He'd never seen Tony so shaken and the younger man was crying so hard Gibbs could feel him shaking against his chest.

"I love her" Tony sobbed.

"I know, I know" Gibbs soothed, holding him close. The two stayed like that for several long moments until Tony spoke again.

" I don't know what to do anymore" He said miserably.

"Tony, you'll get through this" Gibbs said, holding the shaken man at arms length.

"I don't want to" Tony said. He loved Jeanne. She was the only girl he ever loved. She was gone, he had nothing left.

"You do. Why do you think you came over here? You want me to help you"

Tony was silent. He was looking down at the metal bracelet Jeanne had given him, running his thumb over the smooth surface.

"I'm sorry I lied to you, about my apartment" Tony said quietly, trying to change the subject.

"It's alright. I'm going to help you through this, okay?" Gibbs said, looking at Tony with as much sincerity and care as he could.

Tony nodded, tried to hold in the sob that shook his frame. Gibbs pulled him back into his arms.

"You'll be okay, son. You'll be okay" Gibbs tried to comfort the young man, hoping himself that what he said was true.

_TBC..._


	3. Got Lost Along The Way

**Title: Losing Faith In Happy Endings**

**Summary: **An unexpected death causes Tony's life to spin out of control. Special Agent Jethro Gibbs tries to help him, but you can't save a person who doesn't want to be saved. **WARNING: story contains non-sexual discipline of an adult , if that's not your cup of tea, don't read!**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. The following story is for fan entertainment only.

* * *

**Chapter Three: Got Lost Along The Way**

It had been a week since Tony had told Gibbs the devastating news about Jeanne. Gibbs had agreed to let Tony stay with him as long as he wanted to, but Tony was still wasn't acting like himself, prompting Gibbs to take a more proactive role in his life. He drove Tony to and from work everyday and made sure he slept and ate enough. He tried to get the younger man to talk, but it was hard for Tony to open up, even to Gibbs. With every passing day, he hoped his young agent would get better, but he was beginning to suspect that he was only getting worse.

His suspicions were confirmed when he got a call from Tony on a rainy Saturday night.

"Boss?" Tony asked, and Gibbs knew right away that he had been drinking. Gibbs had been hesitant to allow Tony to go out, but he couldn't exactly lock him in the house. Tony had told him he was meeting a friend for dinner, but it seemed now that Tony had other plans.

"DiNozzo, where are you?" Gibbs didn't want a repeat of the last time Tony had gotten drunk. He had managed to convince the other party involved to drop the charges against Tony. He was banned from Slim's, but at least the incident wasn't on his record.

"I'm at a bar. They won't give me my keys" Tony said, like whoever had his keys was doing the wrong thing.

"How much have you had to drink?" Gibbs asked.

"I dunno, not that much" Tony said defensively.

"Right. Where are you? I'm coming to pick you up"

"Riley's Pub" Tony said quietly.

"Stay put, DiNozzo" Gibbs said, more harshly than he meant to. After hanging up with Tony, Gibbs called a cab and headed to the bar.

Tony was sitting at the bar holding an empty glass. He looked up at Gibbs when he approached, but didn't say anything. At least he was sober enough to know to shut up this time.

"You have his keys?" Gibbs asked the bartender.

The man behind the bar pulled Tony's keys out of his pocket.

"He left them on the counter when he went to the restroom. I figured I'd hold on to them" The man eyed Tony, looking sympathetic.

"Thanks" Gibbs said as he took the keys. Tony wordlessly followed Gibbs out of the bar and into his car.

The ride home was silent until Tony spoke up as they pulled into the driveway.

"Boss? I'm…sorry" Tony said meekly.

"This can wait until morning" Gibbs said as he got out of the car, and Tony couldn't work out if he was more angry or disappointed. Tony followed Gibbs into the house and went straight to the guest room, feeling more tired than he had in weeks.

* * *

Tony wandered into the kitchen a little past ten the next morning, surprised that Gibbs hadn't woken him earlier. His boss was cooking eggs and turned to greet him when he walked into the room.

"Sit" He ordered. Tony did as he was told and silently accepted the plate of eggs and cup of coffee Gibbs offered. The room was silent until Tony finished his meal and got up to put his plate in the sink.

"Sit back down, DiNozzo. We need to talk" Gibbs said gently. Tony set the plate down and sat back in his chair, studying the table in front of him. He knew what Gibbs wanted to talk about.

"Tony, you can't keep doing this" Gibbs said, referring to Tony's new drinking habit.

"Boss, come on. Last night wasn't a big deal. I wasn't even that drunk"

"You were arrested once, and you're lucky I was there to sort it out. What if it happens again?"

"It won't" Tony said quietly, knowing that it probably would. He'd just make sure Gibbs didn't find out the next time.

"I want you to tell me you won't drink anymore"

"I'm not going to do that" Tony replied. Who was Gibbs to tell him he couldn't drink?

"Do you want me to help you?" Gibbs thought back to the last week when he had promised to help the younger man work through what had happened to Jeanne.

Tony shrugged. He wanted Gibbs to be there. He couldn't stand being at his apartment alone, but he didn't want to share every little detail of his life.

"Then no more drinking"Gibbs said sternly.

"What's the harm in having a few beers now and then?" Tony asked, the volume in his voice raising as his eyes met the older mans.

"That's not what you do, and you know it" There was a big difference between a few beer and getting completely wasted.

"So I get drunk, what's the big deal?" Tony said defensively. H

"Are you honestly telling me you don't see the problem here?"

"I don't" He was an adult, after all. If he wanted to get drunk every now and then, he was going to. He had a right to get away from his...problems.

"Then I don't know what to do with you anymore" Gibbs said with a heavy sigh. If Tony couldn't even recognize his own poor choices, how would Gibbs help him?

"What, now you don't want to help me?" Tony asked, getting angry.

"That's not what I said" Gibbs replied, trying to stay calm.

"Then what are you saying?" Tony asked, standing up.

"Tony, we both know that what you're doing is wrong. I don't know why you're trying to convince yourself that everything is okay, but as long as you keep pushing me away, I can't help you"

"So you're going to fucking leave me too?!" Tony yelled, feeling betrayed.

"I didn't say that"

"Just forget it, I don't need your help"

"You do" Gibbs said. This wasn't the way he planned for the conversation to go. Tony was more agitated than he had anticipated.

"Don't tell me what I need, you don't know what I need!" Tony yelled.

"Just calm down" Gibbs tried standing slowly. Tony headed toward the door. He started forcefully opening drawers on the small cabinet. A picture frame tumbled off the top of the cabinet and shattered when it hit the ground.

"Where did you put my keys" Tony was yelling as he searched the cabinet. He was standing near the glass, his foot inches away from the shattered frame.

"Tony, stop" Gibbs said grabbing for Tony's arm before he hurt himself.

"Let go of me!" Tony tried to pull away, but Gibbs had his arm twisted behind him.

"Not until you calm down" Tony continued his struggle, clearly indicating that he had no intention of subduing his behavior.

"Fuck you, you asshole! You have no fucking right! I want to leave!" Gibbs almost wanted to laugh at how childish his agent was behaving, but he was growing weary with the younger man. He needed help, and Gibbs was willing to help him, even if he was fighting him every step of the way.

Gibbs mentally sighed, realizing he was running out of options. Gibbs pulled Tony down to the couch behind them. Through his anger, Tony didn't realize what was happening until he felt a stinging smack through his jeans. Gibbs had him pinned down, his arms pulled back behind him, the weight of his body pressing his shoulders into the cushion of the couch. Gibbs had his legs trapped with one of his own and he could feel the older man's strong thigh under his hips as he tried to pull away.

"What the hell are you doing! You can't do this!" Tony yelled as Gibbs continued to land hard swats to his backside, not saying a word.

"Stop! Fucking stop!" Tony yelled frantically, more scared with the situation than the pain that was slowly building. When he gave up on getting an explanation from Gibbs, he focused his attention on escaping the older man's grasp. Gibbs held him tight and brought his hand down harder to the back on Tony's thighs until the younger man grunted from the pain.

"All I want to do is to help you, Tony, whether you like it or not" Gibbs finally spoke, not slowing his pace. His hand was starting to sting, but he continued to spank the younger man, knowing it was the only was way Tony would listen to him. Tony was still struggling and trying to kick his legs, but he was breathing heavily.

"This isn't helping, you sick bastard!" Tony yelled, enraged.

"I'm not" **SMACK** "going to let you" **SMACK SMACK **"run away from your problems" **SMACK SMACK SMACK . **

"You can't make me do anything! You're not my father and I'm not going to let you pretend I'm you're fucking kid!" Tony said, his voice strained, indicating to Gibbs he was trying desperately not to cry out. He didn't care if he sounded like a child, he didn't like being told what to do with his life. He didn't need Gibbs to hold his hand just because he was having a hard time.

"No, I'm not." **SMACK SMACK SMACK ** "But I'm all you have right now" Gibbs stopped swatting and maneuvered his belt off, which was hard to do because Tony renewed his strength trying to get away before Gibbs started swatting him again. Tony was trying not to think of Jeanne and how much he fucked up his life in the past few weeks. He instead tried to focus his anger at the fact that he was over his boss's lap being punished like a ten year old.

"You're behaving like a child, Anthony". Gibbs said sternly, bringing the belt down with a loud smack over the denim stretched over Tony's backside. Gibbs wasn't holding anything back and Tony felt tears welling in his eyes at the pain. With each stroke, he let out a small humiliated cry. He figured that Gibbs wanted him to submit and serenade him with apologies, but he'd be damned if he'd apologize to the man who was humiliating him by restraining him against his will and beating his ass.

"I know you want to get though this, but you need to accept the fact that you need help"

Gibbs kept bringing the belt down, leaving burning welts under Tony's jeans from the top of his ass to just above his knees. His arm was getting tired and he was willing Tony to let go of his anger, knowing that as long as the young man was enraged, this whole ordeal would be useless. Gibbs placed the belt beside him and shifted the still struggling Tony so his free hand could access the zipper of the younger man's jeans. He knew he had to step things up.

Tony panicked when he felt Gibbs hand brush his stomach and undo his zipper.

"What are you doing!" Gibbs didn't offer a response, just pulled his jeans to his knees and picked the belt back up.

"You can't!" Tony pleaded. **SMACK SMACK SMACK. **"You can't do this!" Gibbs winced at the pain and anger in Tony's voice but kept going.

"Let me go, you asshole!"

It was getting harder and harder for Tony to struggle against Gibbs. The pain was so intense, doubled now that he has lost the protection of his jeans. He was fighting with himself, his anger and humiliation telling him to keep fighting and screaming, but the pain was tearing him apart, willing him to just give up. When Gibb's belt landed hard repeatedly on the same spot across his thighs, Tony couldn't hold back the sob that escaped his lungs.

The older man could see Tony's skin growing redder and redder with each stroke and was actually relieved to hear Tony sob. The younger man slowly stopped struggling, his body only jerking in reaction to the pain after each swat. He was sobbing now, tears streaming down his red face and his anger melting away.

"You let me help you, Anthony" **SMACK SMACK SMACK **"Or I won't be able to prevent you from getting thrown out of the agency" Gibbs landed one final blow before setting the belt down. He let go of the younger man's wrists. Tony slid down, hands clutching tightly to Gibbs's pant leg and his head resting on the older man's knee. His sobs filled the room and Gibbs was glad that Tony hadn't run out the door the minute he released him. Gibbs let him cry for a few minutes before he stood up and pulled Tony up with him. Tony seemed to suddenly remember his pants were at his ankles, and he quickly pulled them back up.

Tony looked at Gibbs, and then looked down, embarrassed, tired and confused.

"Come on. I want you to lie down for a while" Tony didn't protest and allowed Gibbs to guide him into the guest room, Tony wiping at his still watering eyes.

Tony wasn't sure what to think. He didn't know why he wasn't mad at Gibbs anymore and all he could focus on was the pain radiating through his ass and thighs.

Gibbs was pulling down the blankets and Tony looked at him, feeling more lost than he had ever felt.

"Lie down" Gibbs said gently.

"You should rest" Gibbs continued when Tony didn't move.

Tony looked down for a few long moments, and Gibbs hoped that he would just do as he was told. If he left now, he might lose him. Tony finally slid under the blankets, hissing at the pain. Gibbs was pulling the drapes closed, blocking out the sunlight. Tony stared at the wall, embarrassed to look at the older man and suddenly feeling very tired.

"I'll wake you for dinner" he said as he closed the door. He hesitated outside the door for a few minutes until he heard Tony's breathing become slower. Dinner conversation was certainly going to be interesting.

_TBC..._


	4. How's It Gonna Be

**Title: Losing Faith In Happy Endings**

**Summary: **An unexpected death causes Tony's life to spin out of control. Special Agent Jethro Gibbs tries to help him, but you can't save a person who doesn't want to be saved. **WARNING: story contains non-sexual discipline of an adult , if that's not your cup of tea, don't read!**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. The following story is for fan entertainment only.

* * *

**Chapter Three: How's It Gonna Be?**

"You want to talk about what happened earlier?" Gibbs asked Tony from across the table. Tony had refused to look at him ever since he woke him up for dinner.

"What's there to talk about, I'm staying" Tony said quietly He was still unsure how he felt about Gibbs spanking him. His face flushed at the mere thought of the word. He had been so angry when it happened, but to his surprise, he had felt better when it was all over. But, he was embarrassed none the less, and he didn't want to go back to his place.

"You understand why I had to spank you?" Tony's face turned redder than it already was. Did he actually have to say that word?

"I guess" Tony shrugged as he pushed the food around on his plate.

"You were out of control. I needed you to know that I'm going to help you, no matter what"

"I know that now. I'm sorry. I guess I was just...scared" Tony finished quietly. He'd been afraid that Gibbs would leave him like everyone else had.

"You don't need to be. I said I would help you, and I'm going to, understand?"

Tony nodded.

"Alright, we need to talk about some rules then"Gibbs said.

"What kind of rules?" Tony looked confused.

"Actions and consequences" Gibbs said seriously.

"You mean, you'd do…that again?" Tony was getting worried, one time was bad enough. Surely Gibbs wasn't planning on making this a common practice?

"If I have to, yes"

"But, I'm not a kid—"

"I know you're not. But nothing else short of threatening you're career has worked with you. Slapping your head and yelling at you has absolutely no long term affect"

"But it's..."

"Embarrassing?" Gibbs finished.

"Yeah" Tony said timidly.

"No one but you and I will know about this"

"Okay, but do you have to..." Tony really didn't want to say it out loud.

"Do you have any other suggestions, Tony?" He knew the prospect of getting spanked when he screwed up was scary, but he hoped it would keep him from getting into trouble to begin with.

"No, I guess not. It's just…" Tony didn't want to tell Gibbs how much the whole event had scared him. If this was the only way Gibbs would help him, he didn't have a choice. He didn't want to lose everything.

"What is it?"

"It was…scary" Tony said, hating how juvenile he sounded.

"Those really weren't the best of circumstances. I don't want you to be afraid of me" Gibbs said, part of him regretting that he had been so forceful on the younger man. But he did what he had to.

"It really hurt"

"Well, that's the point. But you have to know that I'll never give you more than you can take"

"What if I don't want to do this?" Tony asked, still weary of the idea.

"Then we'll find another way, but Tony, I think this is what you need. Trust me" Gibbs said, meeting Tony's eyes.

Tony did trust him, more than he trusted anybody else in his life. He weighed the options, getting spanked when he screwed up didn't sound like a good idea, but he did agree it would probably work. He knew where he was heading wasn't good and he was smart enough to accept Gibbs' methods of rehabilitation.

"I do trust you boss"

"Alright then. I want you to know what the consequences will be if you mess up"

Tony gulped. _This couldn't be good. _

"If I tell you to do something and you disobey or you let your temper get the best of you, you'll get my hand or the paddle, depending on the situation. That includes drinking"

_A paddle? That didn't sound good at all. And why the hell did Gibbs have a paddle?_

"You knowingly jeopardize your career in any way, you'll get my belt. If you put your life in danger, you get all three" Gibbs continued.

Tony nodded mutely, a part of him still not believing that this was actually happening.

"There's also the possibility that I'll tell you to stand in the corner, or write lines, or take away certain privileges, like movies or games or computer time"

"Fuck" Tony mumbled, realizing what he was getting himself into.

"And excessive and unnecessary foul language will get your mouth washed out" Gibbs added, sending Tony a look.

"Do you understand what you'll be agreeing to?"

"I guess. Do we have to do all of that?" Tony asked, hoping Gibbs would recant some of his terms. Gibbs shot him another look.

"Okay. I agree" Tony said reluctantly, knowing that it was probably the best thing for him.

"Good" Gibbs gave Tony a smile, which Tony returned, not sure if his life just got a lot simpler, or a whole lot more complicated.

_TBC..._


	5. Said I'll Always Be Your Friend

**Title: Losing Faith In Happy Endings**

**Summary: **An unexpected death causes Tony's life to spin out of control. Special Agent Jethro Gibbs tries to help him, but you can't save a person who doesn't want to be saved. **WARNING: story contains non-sexual discipline of an adult , if that's not your cup of tea, don't read!**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. The following story is for fan entertainment only.

**A/N:** This chapter was originally really long, but I split it up, so expect the next part soon. And thanks so much to all you who reviewed! I try to respond to every comment, but if I missed you, THANKS! It seems I'm a whore for comments, so the more you write, the more inspired I am to write more!

* * *

**Chapter Five: Said I'll Always Be Your Friend**

It had been a week since Tony agreed to let Gibbs 'deal' with his poor choices. He was finally able to sit comfortably at his desk, but McGee kept glancing at Tony and trying to hide the smirk on his face while Ziva's face was emotionless, but her eyes said she wanted to burst out laughing. _What the hell was so funny?_ Tony replayed the morning searching for some evidence that he had done something that he co-workers deemed comical. He checked his hair in the bathroom and there wasn't any food stuck in his teeth. Then it hit him. Gibbs had been talking to Ziva when Tony came back from delivering an evidence bag to Abby. Could he have told her about their…arrangement? He had said it would stay between them.

"Tony" Ziva called from her desk.

Tony looked up from his computer and tried to keep an neutral expression.

"I hear your staying with Gibbs?" She asked, smirking slightly.

"Yeah" Tony said cautiously. _He couldn't have told her. He wouldn't. _

"So he's taking good care of you then" Ziva laughed and Tony could hear McGee joining in. Tony's heart skipped at beat and he felt his face flush. _He told them. Oh my god, they know._ The elevator beeped and Tony saw Gibbs step out with a coffee in his hand.

Anger taking over him, Tony rushed towards Gibbs. "What the fuck? You bastard! You lied to me! You fucking told them!" He felt betrayed, and he was going to make damn sure Gibbs knew.

Gibbs was taken by surprise at the younger man screaming in his face. He paused mid-sip to blink at his senior agent.

"How could you fucking do that to me?" Tony was fighting an urge to inflict some bodily damage on the older man, but settled for smacking the coffee cup out of his hand.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs warned, not knowing what the hell the younger man was so angry about, but guessing that there was some sort of misunderstanding, a big one if it warranted wasting perfectly good coffee.

"No! Don't fucking talk to me!"

"Tony!" Ziva was suddenly in front of him. _What the hell did she want?_

"Your shirt" Ziva pointed to his chest.

"What?" Tony stared at her, not sure why she chose this rather inappropriate time to comment on his wardrobe.

"Your shirt. It is on backwards. We were just teasing" Tony pulled his shirt away from his chest and saw the tag on the collar. _Oh shit. _They had been laughing at his shirt being inside out. How had he not noticed that? He swallowed and looked up at Gibbs, who looked like he was about to kill him.

A few long, tense, moments passed. Ziva and McGee kept looking from Tony to Gibbs, wondering if they would need to step in if Gibbs tried to kill Tony, who was staring at the spilt coffee soaking into the carpet. Gibbs had been studying Tony, deducing that his outburst had something to do with their recent agreement.

"I'm going to go grab another coffee. DiNozzo, clean this mess up by the time I get back. You two" Gibbs said, referring to Ziva and Tim, "Have yesterday's case reports waiting on my desk" Gibbs turned and hit the down button on the elevator and noticed that none of his agents had moved.

"Now" he barked, wanting to give Tony a head slap for good measure, but decided that the slapping could wait until later. Tony turned hurriedly and disappeared down the hall while the younger two agents returned to their desks.

Tony was still sopping up the coffee when Gibbs returned with a fresh cup.

Tony stood when Gibbs took his seat behind his desk, not exactly sure what his boss wanted him to do next.

"Got any work to do, DiNozzo? Cause I can find you some" Tony blinked.

"Right, boss" He stuttered, still embarrassed at his outburst. _What was Gibbs planning?_ Tony returned to his desk and for the rest of the day, he tried to say as little to his co-workers as possible.

The day ended too soon. Tony tried to put as much distance between himself and Gibbs as he could manage in a mid-size sedan. Gibbs had yet to say anything about his screaming and spilling coffee all over the floor.

"Boss? I'm sorry I yelled at you. I um, thought you…told them" Tony said quietly.

"I know what you thought. We'll talk at home" Gibbs said, the lack of emotion in his voice scaring the younger agent.

When they finally reached Gibbs' house, Tony followed him anxiously inside and stood in the entranceway as Gibbs went to the living room.

"Sit" Tony nervously sat on the couch across from the recliner Gibbs had settled into.

"You were way out of line today" Gibbs stated. Tony wanted to explain that it was all a misunderstanding and he was simple reacting to what he thought was a huge betrayal, but all he got out was a mumbled 'sorry'.

"What were you thinking?" Gibbs asked, hoping that he was going to get more than one word answers from his young charge.

"I was mad. I thought you told them why I'm living here"

"You thought I would betray your trust?"

"No…yes.." Tony admitted, feeling like a complete fool. Of course Gibbs didn't tell them, he's…Gibbs. He wouldn't do something like that.

"I need you trust me, Tony" Gibbs said sincerely. He understood it was hard for the younger man to trust someone so completely, but he knew if their relationship was going to work, they needed to trust each other.

"I do, I just thought—"

"No, Tony, you didn't think. You assumed the worst and instead of talking to me like an adult, you screamed at me like a child" Gibbs sounded harsher than he had meant to, but Tony needed to learn how to deal with his anger.

Tony didn't say anything and was surprised that there was a lump in his throat. He really did trust Gibbs. He didn't mean to react that way, it just sort of happened.

"We'll deal with your punishment after dinner" Gibbs said, more gently this time, and got up to prepare their dinner.

"What? What punishment? I didn't do anything" Tony said, hoping Gibbs didn't hear the crack in his voice. The whole day had been quite emotionally draining and he didn't want to talk about it anymore, let alone end up over his boss's knee. He figured he didn't really do anything wrong anyway. It wasn't his fault Ziva acted like she knew. All he did was yell at Gibbs, but it's not like he caused any harm. The carpet was as good as new, and Tony would repay Gibbs for the wasted coffee if it was that big of a deal. He felt bad he doubted his mentor, but Gibbs knew he didn't really mean it.

"Oh yes, you did" Gibbs stated.

"What? I mean, sorry I yelled at you, but I didn't _do_ anything" Tony tried to argue his case as he pulled himself off the couch.

"We'll discuss this later, Tony" Gibbs warned.

"Is this about the damn coffee?" Hell, he didn't know Gibbs was _that_ crazy about his favorite caffeinated beverage.

"No, it's not. Maybe you need some time to think things over" Gibbs said, taking a few steps back toward Tony.

"Fine" Tony spat, getting up to go to the guest room.

"No" Gibbs said simply.

Tony turned and resisted the urge to throw his arms in the air like a 8 year old.

"What?"

"First off, for your sake, I suggest you lose the attitude. I want you to stand in the corner" Gibbs said, pointing to the far corner of the living room.

Tony had forgotten about that part of their arrangement. He didn't think Gibbs would actually make him do that.

"Why?" Tony said defiantly.

"Anthony" God, he really hated when Gibbs used his full name, and his tone wasn't too comforting, either, "Just do as I tell you"

"I'm not a kid!" Tony whined. He didn't need a stupid time out.

"You're sure acting like one" Gibbs pointed out, "Go to the corner. Unless you want me to help you?" Gibbs was hoping this defiant behavior wasn't going to become customary for the young man. He figured it was just the combination of Tony testing the boundaries and the stress from the day's events.

Tony decided he didn't want to find out what Gibbs meant by 'help', so he sulked over to the corner. He was bored after only three minutes. He could hear Gibbs in the kitchen pulling out pans and messing around in the refrigerator. What exactly was he supposed to be doing? Thinking about what a bad boy he had been? Tony refused to go there, already feeling childish enough for one day.

"How long do I have to stand here?" Tony whined, the pain in his feet making him wish he had taken his shoes off when he came in.

"Until I say" Gibbs called from the kitchen. Tony thought he sounded a bit too cheerful. Did he know how much fun standing in a corner was _not_?

After what seemed like hours, Tony heard the splatter of grease and soon smelled cooked beef. Gibbs was making hamburgers, and Tony felt a tiny pang of guilt. Why was Gibbs making his favorite meal? Wasn't he mad at him?

_He should be mad at me. I did say some pretty un-workplace-friendly things. _Tony thought, kicking the baseboard lightly. The longer he stood there, the hungrier and more guilty he became. He didn't want Gibbs to be nice if he was going to punish him, even if he did think it was unnecessary.

He thought back to the first time Gibbs had spanked him. Gibbs had been angry while it happened, and it had scared him, but it made sense. It was what he was used to. When his father beat him, he had always been furious, so when Gibbs guided him into the guest room after spanking him and had acted so…nice, it made Tony uneasy.

Tony wasn't quite aware that he was uncomfortable with the prospect of Gibbs' kindness because it forced him to accept why he was being disciplined. With his father, Tony turned the fear and pain into anger towards his father instead of reflecting on his mistakes. He wasn't sure what to think of Gibb's approach.

"Dinner's done" Gibbs said, but Tony was too lost in his own thought to hear the older man.

"Tony!" Gibbs tried again. Tony jumped and turned to look at his boss.

"Come and eat" Gibbs suggested.

Tony entered the kitchen and noticed that Gibbs had changed into sweats since they had been home. Tony looked down at his own dress shirt and the T-shirt underneath that had caused so much trouble earlier that day.

"Can I change first?" Tony asked, and Gibbs was glad to hear that Tony had adopted a calmer voice for the evening.

"Go ahead" Gibbs said plainly.

"Thanks" Tony muttered, not sure that a thank-you was necessary. Tony tried not to think about how odd the situation felt as he changed. He just wanted to eat and get the night over with, but he had a feeling Gibbs would want to talk and do a fair bit of lecturing.

When he returned to the kitchen, Gibbs was already eating. He set his burger down when Tony sat down at the table.

"We're out of cheese. A plain burger okay?" Gibbs asked.

"Ah, yeah. It's fine" Tony said, confused that Gibbs was worried about Tony's preferred tastes at the moment.

"Why are you being nice to me?" Tony said suddenly, looking up from his burger to meet the older man's eyes"

"What do you mean?" Gibbs asked.

"I'm in trouble, aren't I?" Tony questioned.

"Tony, punishing you isn't about being mean, it's only about helping you and keeping you safe" Gibbs explained, wishing he knew more about Tony's past with his father. Had he been that harsh?

Tony stared at his boss. He had thought he had Gibbs figured out, until it came to doling out punishment. He had spent the day preparing for Gibbs to scream at him and turn his backside a painful shade of red, not make his favorite dinner and talk civilly with him.

"Your not mad I yelled at you and spilled your coffee?" Tony asked quietly.

"No, I'm _disappointed_ that you lost control of you temper and decided that screaming was more productive than talking"

"You're not mad?" Tony asked again, wanting to be sure.

"No" Gibbs said reassuringly.

"But you still want to punish me?"

"You don't think you deserve it?" Tony wanted to point out that it wasn't nice to answer a question with a question, especially a question he didn't want to answer.

"No—I do, deserve it, I mean" Tony admitted, "I just don't like it"

"You're not supposed to like it. That's why it's a punishment" Gibbs said, with a hint of amusement in his voice. He was glad Tony was agreeing with the consequences for his behavior.

"Makes sense, I guess. What are you going to do to me?" Tony asked glumly. Gibbs smiled at Tony's phrasing of the question.

"Well, first we're going to eat. Then you're getting your mouth washed out for that nice language you used earlier. Then we'll deal with how you screamed at me"

"You're punishing me twice?" Tony asked. Those terms hardly seemed fair.

"Two slip ups, Tony"

"But it's the same thing!" He couldn't decide which punishment was worse, but he knew both were defiantly worse together than on their own.

"No. You let your temper get out of control and you cursed at me" Gibbs was starting to grow wearing with explaining things to Tony.

"But I was angry!" Tony tried.

"And that's why you should have come talked to me. We could have avoided this whole thing. You got yourself into this"

Tony sighed. He guessed Gibbs had a point, talking probably would have saved him some pain, but that didn't mean he wasn't going to try and lessen that pain now.

"Sorry. Today just wasn't a good day. Do you really have to do both?"

Gibbs agreed that the day was defiantly not a great one. He knew he had to stand his ground on this one, especially since their arrangement was still new to both of them, but he sensed there was something more Tony wanted to say.

"Yes, I do. Why wasn't it a good day?"

"I dunno, I just couldn't think right" Tony suddenly regretted getting into this conversation.

"Why not?" Gibbs pushed, giving Tony a look that left no room for avoidance.

"I..I had a dream about…Jeanne. I tried to forget it, but it just kept coming back to me. I couldn't get her out of my head. I'm sorry. I guess that's why I was so out of it today" Gibbs wanted to wince at the guilt in Tony's voice.

"Tony, There's nothing to be sorry about. I don't want you to forget her. I just want you to deal with what happened to her" Gibbs tried to sound as gently as possible.

"It shouldn't have happened" Tony said quietly.

"It was an accident" Gibbs assured. He wasn't prepared to have this conversation again so soon, and he knew by the look on Tony's face that the younger man wasn't using it as an excuse to get out of his punishment.

"But if I would have stayed with her, she wouldn't have even been there. She would have been here, safe" Tony said, squeezing his eyes shut.

"You can't play that game. You can't know how things would have happened. These things are out of our hands" Gibbs reached across the table and grabbed Tony's hand. Had it been a few weeks ago, the gesture would have felt awkward. Physical contact wasn't something he was really used to with his agents, especially with Tony, but their relationship had been evolving a lot lately and his hand on Tony's seemed nothing but sincere.

"This isn't your fault, okay?" He said softly.

Tony didn't want to open his eyes, he wasn't ready to accept that he wasn't to blame.

"Tony" Gibbs said gently, "It's not your fault" Tony tried not to listen, but Gibbs had a way of making you believe what he said.

Tony opened his eyes and looked at Gibbs, seeing the reassurance in his eyes.

"Okay?" Gibbs tried again. Tony nodded and after a few tense seconds, Gibbs released Tony's hand.

"We should eat before our food gets cold" Gibbs said, trying to steer them back to a more stable mood.

Tony cleared his throat. "Got any ketchup?" He asked, and Gibbs wanted to grin from ear to ear, the simple comment letting him know that Tony would slowly, but surely, work though Jeanne's death.

_TBC..._


	6. It's All Wrong, But It's All Right

**Title: Losing Faith In Happy Endings**

**Summary: **An unexpected death causes Tony's life to spin out of control. Special Agent Jethro Gibbs tries to help him, but you can't save a person who doesn't want to be saved. **WARNING: story contains non-sexual discipline of an adult , if that's not your cup of tea, don't read!**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. The following story is for fan entertainment only.

* * *

**Chapter Six: It's All Wrong, But It's All Right **

Dinner had been a little shorter than Tony had hoped, despite he efforts to consume his hamburger and fries as slowly as possible. He tried to make finishing off his glass of water take an extra five minutes, but Gibbs kept shooting him his 'Gibbs' look, letting him know hurrying it up would be a good idea.

When Tony offered to wash the dishes, Gibbs actually chuckled.

"Don't think so, DiNozzo" he said lightly, a little amused by his agent's avoidance strategies. Tony let out a sigh that was a little more emphasized than was necessary.

"Come on" Gibbs exited the kitchen and Tony followed him into the bathroom.

"Sit" Gibbs ordered as he flipped down the lid of the toilet. He opened the medicine cabinet and Tony had a glimmer of hope that he was out of soap.

When Gibbs' hand emerged with the dreaded object, Tony couldn't resist jumping up.

"Bosssss!" Tony whined, "You don't have to do this. I'm _really_ sorry I swore at you" Tony figured he'd try his best to convince Gibbs that he'd already learned his lesson.

"Sit" Gibbs stated. Tony did, but he didn't stop protesting as Gibbs peeled the paper wrapper off the soap.

"Come on, can't you just let this one slide? This doesn't seem safe. What if I swallow it? I'll get sick!" Tony was thinking he might have to try and convince Gibbs he was allergic or something, anything to keep that dreaded object out of his mouth.

"It's all natural" Gibbs said, throwing the paper in the trash and running it under the faucet. He hoped it wouldn't take too much convincing to get the younger man to cooperate. He didn't want to have to resort to part two of the night's events before he was finished with the first part.

"Maybe I should read the ingredients first?" Tony said, eying the soap nervously.

"Open" Gibbs demanded, the bar of soap hovering menacingly close to Tony's mouth.

"I don't want to" Tony said, fully aware of how childish he sounded. _Maybe flat out refusal would work?_ Tony thought. It was the only other option he could think of.

"You remember what happens when you don't do as I ask?" Gibbs reminded. Tony sighed and opened his mouth, deciding he didn't need to give Gibbs more to spank him for.

Gibbs deposited the soap in Tony's mouth, ignoring the tortured face he was making. Tony felt the waxy substance scrape against his teeth and suds drip onto his tongue.

"Bite down" Tony reluctantly did as he was told, already wanting to gag. The younger man looked down, suddenly feeling embarrassed. He absently wondered how many people over the age of ten had to endure this torture. The experience was quickly becoming more emotional than he anticipated, and he wasn't sure the funny feeling in his throat was from the soap or from being treated like a potty-mouthed child.

"Look at me" Gibbs demanded. Tony looked up and hoped that Gibbs didn't see the tears starting to form in his eyes.

"You _never_ use that kind of language towards me or anyone else, especially at work. It's completely unprofessional. You understand me?" Gibbs said sternly.

Tony nodded, really hating the situation he was in. He tried not to swallow as he felt the suds slide towards his throat. He had to bite down harder when he felt the soap dip towards his tongue.

"Ten minutes. And if you take it out, it'll be another ten" Gibbs said as he exited the room.

Tony wanted to cry. He couldn't do this for ten minutes! He felt the mixture of soap and saliva leaking out of the corners of his mouth and he resisted the urge to hurl the bar at the tiled wall. It tasted so bad and his jaw was starting to hurt from the awkward positing. He was defiantly never going to let Gibbs hear him swear again.

When Gibbs came back ten minutes later, Tony was miserable. Bits of soap were stuck in his teeth and his face was damp from a few stray tears he hadn't noticed.

"Alright, you're done" Gibbs said, removing the soap. Tony leapt for the sink, but Gibbs' hand stopped him from turning on the water.

"You can spit, but you're not rinsing until we're done" Gibbs instructed, placing the soap back in the cabinet for possible future use.

"Done with what?" Tony asked, already knowing the answer.

"We still have to deal with your behavior at work today"

"This was enough, I'm sorry, okay? You don't have to…do the other thing" Tony stuttered, hoping that he would never actually have to say the word out loud.

"Do you want to go back to the corner?" Gibbs questioned, thinking maybe Tony needed some more time to process their earlier discussion.

"No!" Tony wanted to rinse the foul taste out of his mouth as soon as possible.

"Then come on" Gibbs said, grabbing his arm and guiding him into the living room.

Gibbs had debated whether or not he should use his belt on Tony. He had told him he would if he but his career in jeopardy, which Tony did indirectly. If Jenny had been present, it would be a little tricky explaining to her why Tony thought the floor was a good place for his coffee and screaming in his boss's face was a good idea. But seeing Tony's face after he removed the soap, he decided that the hairbrush would be sufficient.

Tony spotted the hairbrush Gibbs had placed on the end table next to the couch. He raised his eyebrows at his boss.

"I thought you said you'd use a paddle?"

"Yeah, well, don't exactly have one. I can go buy one, if you'd like?" Gibbs joked.

"Ah, not necessary" Tony quickly replied. He watched Gibbs sit down on the couch and he subconsciously took a step back.

"Pants off" Gibbs directed.

Tony shot Gibbs one more pleading look before he complied. Gibbs grabbed his wrist and guided the young agent over his lap, feeling him tense as he settled over the couch cushions.

Tony was feeling very nervous and not sure what to do with his hands. The last time he hadn't had an option. He settled for wrapping his arms around his head. He felt Gibbs wrap his arm around his waist to secure him and he couldn't resist squeezing his eyes shut.

"Alright, Tony. Tell me why you're being punished" Gibbs said as he picked up the brush.

"What?" Tony picked his head back up to look at his boss. _He wanted him to actually say what he'd done wrong?Hadn't they discussed that enough already?_

"I want you to tell me why you're being punished" Gibbs reiterated. When Tony didn't answer, Gibbs brought the bush down hard on Tony's boxer clad backside. Tony didn't feel the smack at first, but a second later the pain made itself know, causing Tony to kick his legs.

"Why are you being punished, Tony" Gibbs stated again, landing three more hard smacks.

"Okay!" Tony yelped. The brush hurt more than he had expected.

"I yelled at you" Tony grunted out. His response was met with another round of smacks.

"Why did you yell?" Gibbs asked.

"I lost my temper" Tony figured that Gibbs was done with the questions when he started landing the smacks at a steady pace. Tony was determined not to cry this time around. His teeth were clenched and he was already breathing hard.

"When you have a problem" **SMACK SMACK SMACK **"You come to me" **SMACK SMACK ** "and talk to me" **SMACK SMACK **"like an adult" **SMACK SMACK SMACK**

Tony felt the tears he was tying to hold in escape from his eyes and when he felt Gibbs' hand on the waistband of his boxers, he choked out a sob and threw his hand back to pull them back up. Gibbs had anticipated Tony's moved and pinned his arm to his lower back.

Tony felt his face flush as the cool air of the room on his bare skin. He didn't think the pain could get any worse until Gibbs brought the brush down on his now unprotected backside. He kicked his feet in protest and was really regretting his earlier actions.

"If you ever behave like that again" **SMACK SMACK **"You'll get more than this brush" **SMACK SMACK. **

Tony lost count of how many more times Gibbs brought the brush down. All he could think about was the pain he was feeling and how he had doubted the one person he truly trusted. The one person that was still alive, that was. When Jeanne entered his mind, he sobbed harder, and Gibbs dropped the brush on the cushion beside him. He pulled Tony's boxers back up and rubbed Tony's back reassuringly. He hadn't expected Tony to be so upset. The spanking hadn't been nearly as bad as the first time. Gibbs started to get worried when Tony didn't calm down.

"Hey, you're okay" He tried to soothe the younger man, but Tony only cried harder. He couldn't stop thinking about betraying the people he cared about most. He had abandoned Jeanne, and now she was gone and his trust in Gibbs had faltered when all the older man wanted to do was help him.

Gibbs pulled Tony off his lap and positioned him on the couch next to him. He pulled the sobbing form into his arms and was surprised by how tightly Tony wrapped his arms around his neck. Gibbs held him just as tight, taking solace in the fact that the embrace didn't feel awkward.

"We're all done, now. You're okay" Gibbs continued to try and comfort the younger man, but it took a good ten minutes before Tony calmed enough to speak.

"Talk to me" Gibbs said gently, knowing that Tony wasn't so upset just because of the pain.

"M'sor—sorry—I—thought—you—that—I—doubted" Tony tried to tell Gibbs he was sorry for thinking he betrayed him, but he still didn't have complete control over his breathing.

"It's okay, it's okay" Gibbs interrupted Tony's feeble attempt to explain. He ran his hand through Tony's hair soothingly.

"I—do—trust—you" Tony stated into Gibbs shoulder through his hitched breathing.

"I know, son" Gibbs knew he should get Tony to bed, but he wasn't quite ready to let the younger man out of his grasp. He knew Tony needed to feel sure he was forgiven, and Gibbs wanted him to know he was loved.

_TBC..._


	7. Don't Wake Me Cause I'm Dreaming

**Title: Losing Faith In Happy Endings**

**Summary: **An unexpected death causes Tony's life to spin out of control. Special Agent Jethro Gibbs tries to help him, but you can't save a person who doesn't want to be saved. **WARNING: story will contain non-sexual discipline of adults, if that's not your cup of tea, don't read!**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. The following story is for fan entertainment only.

A/N: Sorry this took months to update. This chapter isn't all that well written, I must admit, but I needed to get past it to continue the story. Thank you all for reading!

**Chapter Seven: Don't Wake Me Cause I'm Dreaming**

"DiNozzo, get up, you're going to make us late" Gibbs was standing in the doorway dressed and ready to go to work, while Tony was curled up in a sea of blankets, hiding his face under a pillow.

"Go away" Tony mumbled.

"Tony" Gibbs warned, "Get out of that bed, now" Gibbs repeated, not in the mood to argue with the younger man.

"I'm not going" Tony said, rolling over onto his stomach, his face away from Gibbs.

The older man walked over to the bed and sat down on the edge. He tried to pull the pillow off the younger man's face, but Tony tugged it hard and buried it on his face again.

"Just leave me alone" Tony groaned. Gibbs leaned over Tony's prone form.

"What's the problem?" Gibbs asked with a hint of sympathy in his voice. He didn't want the situation to escalade with Tony, especially this early in the morning.

"I just want you to leave me the hell alone!" Tony yelled, throwing the pillow off his face and turning to look at Gibbs. Tony was tired and he was stuffed up from all the crying he did the night before. His backside still stung and he couldn't help but feel embarrassed. He just wanted to go back to sleep, and he really wanted Gibbs to leave him alone. He looked at Gibbs, realizing he probably shouldn't have used those exact words, considering he was still on his stomach with his backside dangerously close to Gibbs' reach.

"Language, Tony" Gibbs said sternly. He wasn't sure what was wrong with Tony, but he had a feeling that it had something to do with last nights events. They didn't have a chance to talk. Tony had been quite upset after his punishment and had fallen asleep in Gibb's arms. Gibbs had half dragged Tony into the guest room and put him to bed.

"Fuck off" Tony said, daring Gibbs to do something about his language. He buried his head back into his pillow defiantly. He realized that he had agreed to being punished and he reluctantly accepted that he deserved to be spanked the previous night, but he couldn't stand feeling like a child and he felt like Gibbs was treating him like on deliberately, and it wasn't making him very happy.

Gibbs decided that maybe Tony needed some more sleep and a day off. He debated whether or not to call Tony on his language, but eventually decided he'd give the younger man a second chance. He left the room without another word, leaving Tony confused and a little worried, but sleep over took him.

After Gibbs had called the director to let her know he and Tony were taking the day off, he went to work on his boat.

A few hours later, he returned to Tony's room and sat on the edge of the bed.

"Tony" He said, shaking the younger man gently. Tony groaned and pulled away.

"Time to get up" Gibbs had let him sleep an extra few hours hoping he would be more cooperative, but Tony seemed to have other plans.

Tony didn't even bother with a verbal response this time, he instead waved a certain finger in Gibbs' direction from under the covers. Gibbs sighed and pulled Tony out of bed and landed several hard smacks to Tony's boxer clad backside. Tony was still half asleep and by the time he realized what was happening, Gibbs had stopped.

"Get in the shower. Now" Gibbs said, pushing him towards the door. Tony shot Gibbs a nasty look, but complied.

When Tony finally got out of the shower, Gibbs was waiting for him in his room.

"Hurry up and get dressed" Gibbs said, standing in front of Tony with his arms crossed. Tony saw the clothes already laid out on his bed.

"Now your telling me what to wear?" Tony asked unbelievably. Who the hell was Gibbs to tell him what to wear?

"Just saving us some time. Five minutes" Gibbs said as he left the room.

Tony debated blatantly disobeying by searching for something else to wear and taking as long as he damn well pleased, but the aching in his backside made him decide otherwise. He'd do what Gibbs told him, but he wasn't going to act like he was enjoying it.

When the pair were finally in the car, Tony was still being moody.

"Aren't we stopping for coffee?" Tony asked when they passed the second Starbucks on the way to work.

"Not today" Gibbs stated.

"I need coffee" Tony whined.

"Maybe you should have gotten up when I told you"

"What's five more minutes? I can't go all day without caffeine" Tony said, getting more and more irritated.

"We're not stopping" Gibbs said simply.

"Great, so now I have to deal with _you_ having no coffee all day" Tony mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?" Gibbs asked, even though he heard Tony the first time.

"Nothing" Tony spat, turning to stare out the window.

"I don't know what your problem is, but the attitude better stop now" Gibbs warned.

Tony didn't respond. He hated when Gibbs talked to him like a child. He could be in a bad mood if he wanted to, and he defiantly had the right to some coffee.

Tony didn't notice that they weren't heading to the navy yard until they pulled into the parking lot of a Denny's.

"I thought we were late?" Tony questioned.

"We're not going to work today"

"But-"

"If they need us, the director will call"

"Why aren't we going to work?"

"You need a break"

"So you lied to me?"

"I never said we were going to work" Gibbs asked.

"Whatever" Tony said and followed Gibbs into the restaurant.

Where they were seated, Tony eyed the menu.

"Can I have coffee now?" He asked sarcastically.

"Watch the tone" Gibbs said without looking up from his menu. He hoped they would be able to get through the meal and have a chance to talk before Tony got too out of hand.

"What can I get you two today?" A middle aged woman approached their table with her tiny notebook and pencil in hand.

Gibbs ordered coffee and an omelet with a side of hash browns and Tony only ordered coffee.

"He'll also have the pancakes" Gibbs added, giving the waitress a sweet look. She glanced at Tony, looking for a sign of protest, but all he did was glare at Gibbs.

"Alrightly then, I'll be right back with your coffee" She said, noting the tension in the air, and wanting nothing to do with it.

"I'm not hungry" Tony muttered, once again trying to ignore the fact that Gibbs was treating him like a child.

"We've got a long day planned, you need to eat"

"I thought you said we were taking a day off" Tony stated, crossing his arms.

"We are, but you're not going to be sitting around the house all day" Gibbs said.

"Just because you don't relax like normal people doesn't mean I have to spend the day sanding a boat or whatever the hell you do in your free time" Tony knew he was pushing Gibbs, but he was still feeling tired and getting more and more annoyed with the older man. If he was going to treat him like a child, then he'd act like one. Plus, he figured that Gibbs couldn't do anything about it in public.

Gibbs leaned across the table "You had better stop with your attitude now or we'll continue this conversation in the restroom." Gibbs threatened.

Tony shot him a 'you wouldn't' look, not really believing Gibbs would follow through.

"Don't test me, DiNozzo"

"Don't test me, DiNozzo" Tony mocked under his breath. He realized it was a big mistake when Gibbs stood up from the table. Without another word, Gibbs pulled Tony out of his seat and practically dragged him into the restroom. Tony was glad that the only other people in the restaurant were an old couple, but he was pretty sure the waitresses were giggling at him.

Gibbs locked the door and turned both sinks and hand driers on before tucking Tony under his arm and swatting him hard. To Tony's credit, he was being compliant, not wanting the situation to be any more humiliating.

"I've given you more that enough chances to fix your attitude this morning" Gibbs lectured and he continued to land smacks on Tony's backside. "You had better fix it now, or we'll be going home to finish this discussion with my belt. You understand?"

"Yes, boss!" Tony breathed, not in any major pain, but enough to know the last thing he wanted was Gibbs' belt.

Gibbs gave Tony a few more smacks before releasing him.

"Behave" Gibbs said lightly. Tony nodded and followed Gibbs back to their booth.

"You want to tell me why you're being such a pain in the ass today?" Gibbs asked, sensing that Tony had lost most of his attitude.

Tony played with a lose string on his sleeve and made it a point not to look at his boss. When he didn't respond, Gibbs continued..

"If you're embarrassed about last night, there's no need to be. You know I don't think any different of you"

"It not that" Tony finally said.

"Then what is it?"

"Well...that's kinda it, but you're just..you keep..." Tony wanted to just say that he felt like a child, but he knew Gibbs would just say he was acting like one.

"What?" Gibbs asked.

"You keep treating me like a child. I only agreed to this...arrangement because you said you'd help me, but all you do is punish me a treat me like I'm ten" Tony said quietly, looking around the restaurant to make sure no one could hear them.

"Tony, I could see how you would feel like that right now, but I'm only responding to your behavior"

"You didn't have to order for me"

"You needed to eat, and I know your hungry"

Tony couldn't argue with that, he was starving.

"You don't have to keep threatening me to be good"

"I don't? Tony, were doing this for exactly that reason. Right now you aren't too good at judging what to do or how to act"

"I know, but I don't like it" Tony quietly admitted.

"You don't have to like it, as long as you know it's what you need" Gibbs assured. The waitress came back at that moment with their coffee. Gibbs smiled politely and thanked her. When she was gone, he continued.

"About last night"

"I really don't want to talk about last night" Tony said quickly.

"We didn't have a chance to talk"

"I said I was sorry" Tony said defensively.

"I know you are, that's not what I mean. I want to know why you were so upset" He knew Tony had felt bad about thinking he betrayed him, but he had already told him he was forgiven.

"You spanked me, I can't be upset?" Tony all but whispered.

"Tony"

"I felt really guilty, okay?" The young agent admitted.

"I forgive you for not trusting me, I understand" Gibbs assured.

"It's not just that. Your the only one that I really do trust, now that Jeanne's...gone. I just don't want you to think that...I don't want you to give up on me. I know I act like an idiot, but I can't help it sometimes and when I feel like your treating me like a kid I just act up more"

"That's why you need to tell me what you feel. We're going to get you better, not make you feel worse"

Tony nodded, unconvincingly.

"I'm not trying to make this hard on you"

"I know" Tony said quietly.

The waitress returned with their food, again interrupting them. Gibbs decided that next time he needed to have a private conversation with Tony, it would probably be a good idea to have it somewhere that was actually private.

"It's going to be okay, DiNozzo" Gibbs said. Tony looked up at him.

"I know" he admitted, "So… what are we doing next?" Tony asked ,trying to move the conversation to a less intense topic.

Gibbs pulled a piece of paper from his pocket.

"You actually made a list?"

"Sure did" Gibbs smirked, "Movie, mini golf, lunch—"

"Do I get to chose the movie?" Tony asked hopefully, cutting Gibbs off.

"As long as you promise not to make any comments until its over" Gibbs said with a smirk.

"Boss, I don't think that'll be a promise I can keep" Tony smiled.

"Probably not" Gibbs agreed, "Now eat your breakfast"

Tony complied, his stomach glad to follow that particular order.


	8. And All These Thoughts Inside My Head

**Title: Losing Faith In Happy Endings**

**Summary: **An unexpected death causes Tony's life to spin out of control. Special Agent Jethro Gibbs tries to help him, but you can't save a person who doesn't want to be saved. **WARNING: story will contain non-sexual discipline of adults, if that's not your cup of tea, don't read!**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. The following story is for fan entertainment only.

**Chapter Eight: And All These Thoughts Inside My Head**

It had been almost two weeks since Tony and Gibbs took a day off, and Gibbs had been relieved that Tony was actually behaving. He was still distracted, but he was acting more like himself, reassuring Gibbs that their arrangement was helping Tony. Unfortunately for McGee and Ziva, that meant DiNozzo was back to torturing his fellow agents. Gibbs decided to cut Tony some slack, knowing that the jokes and pranks were a part of the comradely of his team and he hadn't done anything to interfere with a case.

They had just returned from the crime scene of their latest case and the team settled into their desks, waiting for Gibbs to delegate. A young Petty Officer, Olivia Adams, had been found dead at a nearby camp site and they suspected murder.

"McGee, see what you can get off her computer. Ziva, talk to her friends. DiNozzo, call the family" Gibbs gave his orders before heading up to talk to the director, leaving his team to their work.

"Tony, what the hell?" McGee rubbed at the spot where an M&M had bounced off his head and glared at the older agent. Tony was grinning at him.

"Relax, Probie. Just getting some target practice in" Tony said as he launched another candy.

"A slingshot? Could you be any more juvenile?" McGee asked, flustered that Tony was so blatantly interfering with his work.

"Do you really need to ask that, McGee? Acting like a child is second nature to Tony" Ziva said, not looking up from her computer.

"Not nice, Ziva" Tony said. He waited until she picked up her phone to launch an M&M at her. It hit her shoulder, and she shot Tony a look that could kill while she tried to keep her voice pleasant. Yelling at the Petty Officer's best friend wouldn't exactly help the case.

Tony was about to launch another candy when a strong hand grabbed his wrist. Gibbs pulled the slingshot out of Tony's hand.

"Consider this a warning, Anthony. Get to work" Gibbs said, leaning down and speaking so only Tony would hear. Tony swallowed as he watched Gibbs put his toy into his desk.

"Sorry, boss" Tony blushed, glancing at Ziva and Tim, embarrassed at being caught. Gibbs headed back to the directors office and as soon as he was out of sight, Ziva chuckled.

"Maybe now you will do your work, Tony? Ziva was grinning, irritating Tony.

"Ah, not quite yet" He went to Gibbs desk and retried the slingshot.

"Ah, Tony? Maybe you shouldn't go into Gibbs desk. You know he-" Tim was cut off by an M&M hitting him in the forehead.

"Tony! Come on, I've got a lot of work to do!" Tim yelled as he rubbed the spot on his forehead.

Tony's only answer was to laugh. He was believed that Gibbs hadn't hauled him off into the bathroom right then and there, but he wasn't going to let McGee and Ziva see any sign of weakness.

Tony continued to torture McGee, but to the younger agents credit, he was managing to mostly ignore Tony.

"What ya get from the family, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked as he walked into the bullpen. Tony scrambled to hide the slingshot in his desk, nearly slamming his hand in the desk drawer. He'd hadn't expected Gibbs' to be back so soon and he still hadn't yet contacted Petty Officer Adams' family.

"Ah, not much, Boss" Tony said. wondering how he was going to get out of it.

"Did she have a boyfriend, did she camp often?" Gibbs questioned.

"Um, they didn't know. I guess they weren't very close?" Tony said, unintentionally making his statement sound more like a question.

"She had family pictures in her wallet and most of her recent calls were to her mom and sister and you're telling me they weren't close?" Gibbs said, now standing in front of Tony's desk.

"Ah, maybe I should call them back?" Tony asked, already knowing Gibbs had called his bluff.

"Did you call them at all? Or have you been playing with that damn thing all morning?" Gibbs yelled, clearly frustrated with Tony. Before Tony had a chance to answer, Gibbs was back at his own desk, looking for the slingshot. Not seeing it there, he slammed the desk drawer, hard.

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs yelled, "Where is it?"

Tony slowly opened his drawer and pulled the toy out. Gibbs snatched it out of his grasp, broke it in half, and tossed in the the trash can. Tony's face flushed as Ziva smirked at him, satisfied that his little game was clearly ended.

"Did you plan on doing any work today, or should I just send you home now?" Gibbs asked.

"I would get more done if Tony was not here" Ziva said.

"Yeah and I'd get more work done if you took that stupid-ass hat off" Tony spat. Ziva looked hurt as her fingers touched the bright orange hat lightly.

"That's enough!"Gibbs scolded, fixing Tony with a hard stare.

"She started it!" Tony yelled.

"Not another word, Tony" Gibbs warned.

"You always take her side" Tony spat. He glared at Gibbs before angrily heading toward the elevator.

Gibbs caught the elevator doors before Tony was safely behind them. He'd hoped that Tony had learned not to talk back to him by now. Apparently they had some more talking to do.

Tony felt his heart skip a beat when Gibbs joined him, his bravado slipping away. Tony wasn't sure where he planned on going, but Gibbs made the decision for him, punching the elevator button without even a glance at the younger man. He didn't say a word until the doors opened to autopsy. He grabbed Tony by the arm and lead him to the bathroom, locking the door behind them.

"You didn't have to embarrass me!" Tony yelled, still unsure of the situation. Gibbs simply stared at him.

"Ziva started it, you know. But you let her get away with everything and I always get in trouble. It's her fault I couldn't get any work done!" Gibbs still didn't say anything, only making Tony more angry.

"What was I supposed to do? Ignore her? It's not easy to do! Fuck!"

"You done?" Gibbs asked.

"No!" Tony yelled, but then rethought his answer. "Yes" He said more quietly.

"Good. Drop your pants" Gibbs demanded. Tony could feel his resolve slipping. It was much easier to obey Gibbs without Ziva and Tim around, but the day was turning into a complete disaster and he was still angry. He knew it wasn't Ziva's fault and he wished he could restart the day, but he couldn't completely let go of his anger.

"Gibbs! No! Do we have to do this?" Tony grimaced, knowing that he was only making things worse.

"You don't tell me 'no', Tony" Gibbs said as he pushed Tony down over the counter and landed several hard smacks to his backside.

"Yes, boss" Tony grunted. Gibbs let him up.

"Now, drop your pants" Gibbs said again. Tony complied this time.

"Over the counter" Tony bent over the counter between the two sinks. He felt Gibbs hand on his back before the other hand landed sharply on his backside. Gibbs continued to spank Tony, keeping him in place when he started to squirm. He didn't stop until a small sob escaped the younger man's lungs.

"What's gotten into you today?" Gibbs asked gently as he pulled Tony up.

"Can we talk about this later, please?" Tony ask as he wiped at his eyes.

"Tony" Gibbs said as he lifted Tony's chin so he could see his eyes.

"I'm sorry boss. I'll get back to work. Can we please not talk about this right now?" Tony said, his voice shaky.

"Alright. Wait here" Gibbs said as he left the restroom. He returned a few minutes later, holding a bar of soap.

Tony's eyes went wide. He knew the bar of soap was from autopsy and he wondered what Gibbs had told Ducky.

"Did Ducky-"

"He's on lunch" Gibbs said as he peeled the paper off.

"You know what happens when you curse at me. Open" Gibbs said.

Tony groaned, but opened his mouth and allowed Gibbs to insert the nasty soap. He bit down and already felt the tears come back to his eyes.

"Ten minutes" Gibbs said gently as he guided Tony to the corner of the restroom. Gibbs leaned against the sink, arms crossed, and waited for Tony.

After six minutes, Tony choked out a muffled sob around the soap. Gibbs went to him and took the soap back. Tony had tears on his cheeks.

"Rinse your mouth out" Tony gladly complied.

"M'sorry" Tony said, wiping at his eyes again.

"You want to talk now?" Gibbs asked and Tony nodded.

"What's gotten into you today?" Gibbs asked gently.

"I'm really sorry, boss"

"That doesn't answer the question, Tony" Gibbs said, but not harshly.

"Officer Adams. She reminded me of Jeanne. I didn't want to think about it, I just wanted to take a little break from it, but I got distracted and I didn't want to think about it anymore, so I messed with McGee and Ziva. I just wanted a distraction" Tony admitted sadly.

"You should have told me you needed to skip the case" Gibbs said.

"But I didn't, I just needed a break" Tony tried to defend himself.

"This is why you need to let me know what you are feeling. We've had this conversation before" Gibbs said.

"I know" Tony said, looking down "I really didn't think it was going to be a big deal"

"It was. You know how important time is during a case. You can't afford to forget things like that. There's no excuse for wasting all that time, and interfering with Ziva and Tim's work" Gibbs lectured.

"I'm sorry, boss" Tony said sadly. Gibbs pulled him into a hug.

"I want you to go home, Tony" Gibbs said as he released Tony.

"What? Boss, I'm good now-" Tony was cut off.

"Anthony, go home. You're not going to be any help on this one. We have more to talk about and now is not the time. Go home." Gibbs said with finality. He left Tony in the bathroom to compose himself. He was going to be one team member short, but it was the right thing to do. He would sort things out with Tony after they caught their murderer.


	9. Somethings Lost, but Somethings Gained

Title: Losing Faith In Happy Endings

Summary: An unexpected death causes Tony's life to spin out of control. Special Agent Jethro Gibbs tries to help him, but you can't save a person who doesn't want to be saved. WARNING: story will contain non-sexual discipline of adults, if that's not your cup of tea, don't read!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. The following story is for fan entertainment only.

A/N-I know it's been a while since the last update, and this is a short chapter. I'm kinda stuck on how to wrap this one up. There will be at least one more chapter after this, possibly two. Thank you to all who have been reading and reviewing. :)

Chapter Nine: Somethings Lost, but Somethings Gained In Living Every Day

Tony couldn't believe that Gibbs had sent him home. He paced the front room at Gibbs's house, wondering what Ziva and McGee were going to think about a senior agent being sent home like that. He felt betrayed that Gibbs thought he was that out of control. He was angry at the whole situation, but the more he thought about it, the more his anger was diverted back to himself. He had really made a mistake. He knew that time was always of the essence in murder cases and his actions could have cost the team. Gibbs had even given him a chance after he caught him the first time, and Tony messed up again. He was realizing that he was in the wrong, and Gibbs had been justified in discipling him.

Tony ended up sprawled on the couch, waiting for Gibbs to come home, and he eventually drifted off to sleep.

"Boss?" Tony questioned as he rubbed at his eyes. Gibbs was at the front door, taking off his jacket and looking very tired. Tony stole a quick glance at his watch. It was nearly three in the morning.

"What happened?" Tony asked.

Gibbs pushed Tony's feet off the couch and sat down next to him. "Jealous ex-boyfriend. We caught him trying to leave the country" Gibbs explained. Tony didn't miss the look on his face, it was one of sorrow and anger that he always had when an innocent person was lost.

"Oh. I'm glad her family will get some closure" Tony said sincerely as he settled himself on the couch. There was a comfortable silence for a few moments, both men lost in thoughts about Petty Officer Adams.

"I'm sorry about earlier, boss," Tony said, breaking the silence. "I should have told you that I was having a hard time with the case. And I'm sorry for yelling at you, and for being mean to Ziva."

Gibbs looked at him for a moment.

"You're not mad about being sent home?" Gibbs asked.

"No...well I was, at first. Then I was mostly mad at myself. Officer Adams, she reminded me so much of Jeanne. I couldn't focus. I had been doing better, you know I have. It was so frustrating that I couldn't focus on the case, and then I felt guilty for not wanting to think about her. So I messed with Ziva and McGee. It seemed like a good option at the time, but I know it wasn't, boss. You're right, I should have came to you, and you were right to send me home" Tony said.

"I'm proud of you, Tony" Gibbs said.

"What?" Tony questioned. He had been expecting Gibbs to lecture him some more.

"You're handling this well. I wasn't sure if sending you home was a good idea, or if I was going to have to keep an eye on you. But here you are, safe and sound, and you're accepting blame for your actions. You understand why you did what you did. That's a big step, Tony"

"Thanks, boss" Tony said as he smiled at the older man.

"But," Gibbs started.

"Why is there a but?" Tony said, trying not to groan.

Gibbs smiled, "But, I want you to promise that you will come to me if something is going to affect your performance on a case. It's okay if you need to sit one out. Your team won't think anything less of you"

"I know, boss. It won't happen again, I promise" Tony said.

"Good," Gibbs yawned, "I think its about time I got some sleep. We're not due in until 10 tomorrow" Gibbs said as he got off the couch.

"Sweet" Tony replied, and Gibbs couldn't help but laugh.

"Goodnight, Tony" The older agent said.

"'Nite, boss" Tony replied.


	10. Don't Tell Me Cause It Hurts

**Title: Losing Faith In Happy Endings**

**Summary:** An unexpected death causes Tony's life to spin out of control. Special Agent Jethro Gibbs tries to help him, but you can't save a person who doesn't want to be saved. **WARNING: story contains non-sexual discipline of an adult. If that's not your cup of tea, don't read! **

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. The following story is for fan entertainment only.

**Chapter Ten: Don't Tell Me 'Cause It Hurts**

It had been almost two months since Gibbs had spanked Tony after the younger man spent half a day launching M&M's at heads of his co-workers. While Gibbs had to administer the occasional head smack, with each passing day, Tony was seeming more and more like his old self.

The younger agent was more focused and more in control of himself. He was sleeping well and Gibbs no longer had to check if he remembered his phone or badge or gun. Tony had even gotten up early enough to cook breakfast on a few occasions.

It was a week before Thanksgiving and Gibbs and Tony were enjoying a quiet dinner together. They were discussing their plans for the upcoming holiday and Gibbs decided that it was time to discuss Tony's progress.

"DiNozzo, we need to talk about how you've been doing" Gibbs said, offering the younger man a smile.

"Well, I think I've been doing pretty good, Boss. We haven't had any, uh, 'discussions' lately" Tony replied. Gibbs was amused that Tony still didn't like to say the word 'spanking'.

"You're doing great, Tony. I think i'st time you started to think about moving back to your place" Gibbs said. He knew that Tony wasn't going to like what he was saying, but he wasn't prepared for the hurt look on the other man's face.

"You don't want me here?" Tony asked quietly, putting down his fork and folding his hands under the table.

"Tony, no. You know perfectly well that I like having you here, but you need to get back on your own eventually. I don't want you to end up depending on me too much. Do you understand?" Gibbs asked his senior agent.

"Yeah, yeah. You're right. Um, do I have to move out right away?" Tony asked and Gibbs didn't miss the notes of hurt in his voice.

"No, of course not. I just want you to start thinking about it. There's no rush" Gibbs asked, but Tony wasn't looking at him and he stayed quiet. He had suddenly taken a keen interest in the uneaten spaghetti on his plate.

"Hey, look at me" Gibbs said sternly but not unkindly.

Tony looked up, and the disappointment was written all over his face. He had been kinda excited about spending the holidays under Gibb's roof and he couldn't hide the disappointment that he would need to move out eventually. He actually had not given it much thought as to when he would move back to his place. He was content, happy even, living with his boss.

Gibbs got up from the table and clasped the younger man's shoulder. He put a finger under Tony's chin and tilted his head to meet his gaze.

"We're going to still take things slow, okay? We're not going to do anything until you're ready to" Gibbs said reassuringly. He patted Tony's cheek and was relieved when Tony offered him a small smile and a nod.

The next morning, Tony is unusually clingy. He spends the morning checking and double checking every move and detail with his boss. Gibbs resists commenting on Tony's behavior, figuring that Tony needed some time to process what they had discussed the night before, but his behavior is concernedly reminiscent of the early days of their arrangement.

When Tony's lunch turns into a nearly two hour absence, Gibbs starts to worry. The younger agent isn't answering his phone, so Gibbs has to resort to having Abby activate the GPS on Tony's cell.

"Um, Gibbs? I think he's at a bar" Abby says meekly, and Gibbs can already feel the anger bubbling, subdued only by his worry for the kid.

"Thanks, Abbs. Keep this between us, yeah?" Gibbs asks with a quick kiss to her pale cheek.

"My lips are sealed. Just, don't kill him when you find him?" She asks sweetly and the smile she receives from her boss is all the reassurance she needs.

When Gibbs finally finds Tony in a small pub-style restaurant nearly twenty minutes away form the Navy Yard, he doesn't expect to find his agent two beers in, chatting up a pretty blond girl at the bar.

"Excuse us, miss" Gibbs says as politely as he can as he hauls Tony up off the bar stool, and the girl takes that as he cue to leave. He reaches into his jacket and pulls out his wallet. He slaps a few bills on the bar to more than cover Tony and his new friend's drink before he grips Tony's bicep almost hard enough to be painful and drags him out to the car.

Tony doesn't say a word until they are both in the car and Gibbs is pulling away from the restaurant.

"Boss, I-" Tony starts, but Gibbs cuts him off, sharply.

"Tony! Save it. I'm taking you home, and then I'm going back to work. We'll talk about this later" Gibbs said. Tony could tell that he was in deep. Gibbs rarely raised his voice to the younger man.

Tony tried not to squirm in his seat the whole way back to Gibb's house. This wasn't exactly what he had intended to happen. He just wanted a bit of attention from his boss. He wanted to show him that he still needed Gibb's guidance. He wasn't ready to move out.

When they finally pulled into the driveway, Gibbs didn't turn the engine off or make a move to get out of the car.

"Wait in your room until I get back. Don't even think about leaving the house" Gibbs said.

Tony got out of the car and hurried into the house. Gibbs watched until the younger man was safely in side before heading back to work. He was glad they weren't working an active case. He had a few things to wrap up before returning home to find out what the hell had gotten into Tony.

**A/N: **Hey guys! I'm sorry it took so long for another update. Honestly, I almost abandoned this, I just couldn't get inspired to write more. It took writing some other fic to get back into this one. I really appreciate all of the positive feedback and the support I have received for this story. I planned on only having one or two more chapters before wrapping this one up, but I'm going to ask you guys what you think. Where should I take this next? Tony is going to get whats coming to him next chapter, of course, but where they go from there, I'm not sure.

Would you like to see Tony all emotionally healed up and move back into his place? Or does he need more time with Gibbs? Let me guys know what you would like to see happen. And, as always, thank you so much for reading! You guys are awesome.


	11. Saying Sorry Once Again

**Title: Losing Faith In Happy Endings**

**Summary:** An unexpected death causes Tony's life to spin out of control. Special Agent Jethro Gibbs tries to help him, but you can't save a person who doesn't want to be saved. **WARNING: story contains non-sexual discipline of an adult , if that's not your cup of tea, don't read!**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. The following story is for fan entertainment only.

**Chapter Eleven:** Saying Sorry Once Again

Once Tony was in the house, he stood by the front door for a good five minutes. He wasn't sure what to do with himself. He knew that he had screwed up big and he hadn't seen Gibbs so angry in a while.

He could feel the dull, aching guilt in his stomach and the panic start to increase. He wanted to run back out of the house and away from his life.

He took a few deep breaths, considering his options, before kicking off his shoes and heading to the bathroom. He turned on the shower and the noise of the water on the cold tile helped dull the thoughts whirling through his head. He peeled off his clothes and left the in a heap on the bathroom floor. He was too distracted to worry about making sure they got into the hamper.

He should have turned the temperature cooler, but the burning heat of the water on his skin felt it was washing away the things that he didn't want to deal with. Tony closed his eyes tightly and let the water cascade over his head, but he couldn't stop the feelings of regret and anxiety over what he had done and what would happen when Gibbs got home.

A few hours later, Gibbs returned home to see Tony sitting on the couch barefoot in sweat pants and a t-shirt. His knees were drawn up and he was hugging them to his chest. When the young agent heard his boss arrive home, he looked up and Gibbs saw that he looked anxious and sad and incredibly young.

Gibbs set his keys down and sat opposite of Tony on the couch.

"I was worried about you today, Tony. I still am" Gibbs said and Tony was glad that he wasn't screaming at him. He did have every right to be angry.

"I'm sorry" Tony said, but it came out not much above a whisper.

"What were you thinking?" Gibbs asked the younger man. He knew that his behavior had something to do with the conversation about Tony moving back out eventually. Gibbs could tell that Tony was a little upset about the topic, but he didn't understand why the younger agent had so blatantly and intentionally misbehaved.

"I-" Tony felt his throat tighten with emotion and he couldn't talk. He rested his head on his knees and took a few deep breaths before he continued. The younger man kept his head down when he finally continued, "I just...didn't know what to do. I was upset"

"Look at me, please" Gibbs requested gently. When Tony met his gaze, he continued, "Are you upset because of what we talked about yesterday?"

Tony nodded. Gibbs didn't say anything, suggesting that Tony should continue.

"I don't want to move out. I wanted to make you realize that I'm not ready, so... I, um" Tony paused. He was embarrassed by his behavior and was having trouble explaining it out loud, "I guess I figured that if I did something to get in trouble, you would change your mind about me moving out"

"First of all," Gibbs started, "you are not moving out until you are ready to. After your behavior today, I can see that you still aren't thinking things through before you act. I've told you before, if you have a problem, you come and talk to me" The older man explained, again. He was starting to think that he should have had a more in-depth conversation with his agent the night before.

"I know. I'm sorry, boss. I just really don't want to spend the holidays alone and I got worried after we talked yesterday" Tony said quickly, as if he didn't hurry up and get the words out quickly, he wouldn't get them out at all.

"Oh, Tony," Gibbs said, suddenly understanding why DiNozzo was so upset. He hadn't even been thinking about the upcoming holidays. They were obviously going to be rough for Tony this year. He should have reassured him that he wouldn't be going through them alone.

"I'm sorry. I should have made it clear last night. There is no time line here, Tony. All I meant is that I want you to keep in mind that we're working on you getting better and being independent again. I don't want you to worry about the holiday season. I'll help you through it," Gibbs scooted closer to the younger man and squeezed his shoulder, " That was always the plan, okay?"

Tony nodded and quickly wiped at his eyes.

"We need to talk about how you acted today. You behavior was completely unacceptable" Gibbs said, his voice turning stern.

"I know" Tony agreed. He had no intention of contesting any punishment he reveived.

"Over the couch, DiNozzo" Gibbs said as he stood and started to take off his belt. Tony swallowed hard and bent over the back of the couch. It was just tall enough that the majority of his weight was supported and his feet still touched the ground. It would have almost been comfortable, if Gibbs wasn't about to tan his hide.

Tony felt his boss's strong hand on his back and he couldn't help but tense up.

"You were upset, Tony, and that should have been all the more reason for you to come and talk to me" Gibbs said. The belt landed across the younger man's backside with a loud smack. It had been almost two months since he had been spanked, but the pain from the first smack was still all too familiar and Tony's whole body jerked.

**SMACK SMACK **"Instead of coming to me," **SMACK **"You disappeared for two hours without telling me where you were going or answering your phone" **SMACK SMACK SMACK**

Gibbs kept Tony in place as the younger man tried not to kick his legs. He knew that he was only getting the punishment that he brought upon himself, but the pain made him move involuntarily.

"You are lucky that we didn't get called out for a case," **SMACK SMACK SMACK **"Otherwise, I would have had to explain to the director where you were," **SMACK **"and I can assure you that she would not have been happy to hear that I had no_ idea_ where you were" **SMACK SMACK**

Tony tried to contain himself, but he knew that Gibbs had yet to address all of his wrongdoings of the day and the tears were already falling.

"Drinking on the job, young man, is never okay, even if you are on lunch," **SMACK SMACK **"and you know that" **SMACK SMACK SMACK. **

"I'm sorry!" Tony sobbed into the couch. Gibbs landed another round of blows before he sat the belt down and rubbed the younger man's back.

"Alright, Tony. We're done. You're forgiven" Gibbs said reassuringly.

Tony stayed over the couch for a few minutes as he waited for the pain to subside. Gibbs continued to rub his back until the regained control of his breathing. When Gibbs noticed that Tony was making a move to stand, he grabbed his arm and helped him up. He gave Tony a quick hug.

"Are you okay?" Gibbs asked.

"Yeah, boss" Tony said, his voice still a little shaky.

"Hungry?" Gibbs asked, remembering that he didn't see any food dishes near Tony at the bar and wondering if Tony had eaten since breakfast.

"Starving" Tony said, suddenly all too aware of his growling stomach.

"There's some case files in my car that we should go through. Why don't you go get those, and I'll order us pizza?" Gibbs offered.

"Sounds like a plan" Tony said. He grabbed Gibbs's keys and headed out the door. Gibbs couldn't help but smile when Tony paused before going outside to rub at his backside.

TBC...

A/N Thanks for all the feedback, guys! I'm not ending this one as soon as I had originally thought. There will be at least three more chapters, but the next one will won't be up for about a week. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. :)


	12. Lean On Me, When You're Not Strong

**Title**: Losing Faith In Happy Endings

**Summary:** An unexpected death causes Tony's life to spin out of control. Special Agent Jethro Gibbs tries to help him, but you can't save a person who doesn't want to be saved. **WARNING: story contains non-sexual discipline of an adult , if that's not your cup of tea, don't read!**

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. The following story is for fan entertainment only.

**Chapter Twelve:** Lean On Me, When You're Not Strong

Thanksgiving arrives sooner than Gibbs and Tony anticipated. It's the Tuesday before and they end up at the grocery store doing last minute shopping. Tony has never cooked a Thanksgiving meal before, but Gibbs seems to know what they are doing and soon enough, the cart is full of ingredients, complete with a frozen turkey big enough to feed a small army.

Miraculously, they don't get called in to work on the holiday. Gibbs and Tony spend the morning prepping and chopping and baking and Tony feels genuinely happy. The air outside is just chilly enough and the house is filled with the aromas of turkey and pumpkin pie. Tony can't help but feel at home.

Abby and McGee and Ziva arrive in time to help with the final meal preparations and the whole team is laughing and enjoying each other's company. Ducky arrives with expensive wine and smiles at the scene before him. A whole family together for a wonderful holiday, and he can't wait to regale them with stories from his youth.

Dinner is delicious and there are plenty of leftovers for later. A game of football is about to get underway in Gibbs' back yard, but Ziva insists on helping with the clean up first. She and Tony are in the kitchen and Ziva can't help but notice how at home Tony seems to be.

"You seem very happy, Tony" Ziva says with a smile. She had been worried about him ever since Jeanne's passing, but he hadn't really talked to her about it. She was a little hurt, but she and McGee agreed that they would let Tony come to them when and if he was ready to talk about it. They kinda figured out that it didn't take months to fix the bad pipes in Tony's building, but they didn't bring it up. They knew that he needed the support from Gibbs, even if they didn't know the extent of the relationship.

"I am, Ziva" Tony says, returning the smile as he scrapes a plate over the garbage.

"I am glad. I was worried about you," Ziva says, taking advantage of the moment to show Tony her support, "If you ever need to talk about anything, I am here" She says.

Tony knows that Ziva is just being a good friend, but her words are making him nervous. Gibbs is the only one he feels comfortable talking to about personal things. He's not ready to talk to Ziva about his feelings.

"That's not necessary" Tony replies, and it comes out more harshly than he means to. Ziva may be a tough as nails Mossad agent, but Tony's reply hurt her feelings.

"I'm only trying to help, Tony" She tries to explain but it only stresses Tony more.

"Well stop, I don't need your help" Tony says. He nearly slams the dishes down and they clatter nosily on the counter.

"I am your friend, you do not have to be so defensive-"

"Fuck, Ziva! Leave it alone!" Tony yells. Thankfully, everyone is already outside prepping for the game. Everyone except for Gibbs, that is.

"Tony!" Gibbs yells, interrupting the argument. Tony feels his stomach drop.

"Uh, hey boss. Are we ready to start playing?" Tony asks nervously, hoping that Gibbs didn't hear him yell at Ziva.

"Ziva, why don't you start the game without us. Tony and I need to have a word" He gives her a reassuring smile that helps to ease the sting of Tony's words. She nods in agreement and heads out the back door.

Gibbs pulls Tony down the hall and into the bathroom. He closes the lid on the toilet and sits the younger man down.

"Boss, I didn't meant to yell at Ziva" Tony defends, but Gibbs is already unwrapping a bar of soap that Tony has grown to really hate the site, not to mention the taste, of.

"You know I don't tolerate that kind of language, Tony, especially when it's directed at your family" Gibbs says, and that stings.

Tony swallows hard. He already felt bad about what he had just done, but now he felt worse. Gibbs was right, Ziva was his family. She was only trying to be supportive and she didn't deserve to be yelled at.

"I know" Tony says quietly, already feeling the tears in his eyes. He lets Gibbs deposit the soap into his mouth.

"Ten minutes" Gibbs says before leaving the bathroom. He closes the door behind him, just in case any of the others came back into the house.

Gibbs finishes cleaning up the kitchen before he checks in on Tony. There are more than ten minutes of dishes to wash, so Gibbs starts on packing up the leftovers in an assortment of plastic containers.

Gibbs returns to the bathroom and closes the door behind him quietly, and for a second, Tony doesn't seem to notice that he has entered the small room.

"You can take it out now" Gibbs says. Tony looks at him, his face wet with tears and soapy bubbles around his mouth. He takes the soap out and immediately is over the sink, spitting and rinsing his mouth out.

"I'm sorry" Tony says. He's looking down a the floor, studying the pattern of the faded rug in front of the sink. Gibbs can tell that he feels guilty.

"What was that all about?" Gibbs asks the younger agent.

"I just...I got anxious. Ziva wanted to talk...about things, and I'm not ready to talk to her about, you know, everything"

"Why didn't you just tell her that?" Gibbs asked.

"I know, I should have. I just kinda freaked out" Tony says, wishing that he could have just take it all back.

"She's just concerned about you"

"I know, and I showed my appreciation by yelling at her"

"She'll forgive you. Go talk to her, apologize" Gibbs suggests. He was glad that Tony had quickly realized what he had done wrong.

"Of course" Tony agrees.

"I'll send her in" Gibbs says as he leaves the bathroom.

Tony is waiting in the kitchen when Ziva comes back inside.

"Hey, Ziva, listen-" Tony starts, but Ziva cuts him off.

"I'm sorry if he yelled at you, Tony. I should not have pried" Ziva says, and Tony immediately hates that she thought the whole thing was her fault.

"No, Ziva, I'm sorry. You have nothing to apologize fore. There was no call for the way I yelled at you, especially on Thanksgiving" Ziva is studying Tony's face and she can see that he is nothing but remorseful and honest.

"I meant what I said, Tony. I do want to help you" Ziva says softly.

"I know, I know, and I appreciated it, I really do. I'm just not ready" Tony says, already feeling his throat start to tighten with emotion.

"I understand. I am always here for you, when you are ready" Ziva replies. She smiles at him then, and Tony can't resist pulling her in for a hug.

"Thanks, Ziva" He lest her go, and they look at each other for an awkward moment before Tony speaks again.

"Um, you want to go back to the game?" He asks her.

"Of course. I have been waiting all week to participate in this tradition" Ziva says and she leads the way outside.

"Everything alright?" Ducky asks when the two agents come back outside.

"Everything is great, Duck" Tony says. He throws an arm around Ziva as they walk through the yard.

"Swell," The doctor says with a grin, "I hope you don't mind, Anthony, but Ziva is on my team"

"You ready, Tony?" Ziva says with a wink.

"Oh, bring it, David!" Tony exclaims.

Tony doesn't see, but Gibbs is beaming. The day wasn't over, but it was already going better than he had expected. Tony is still a little off balance, but things are getting easier with him. He knows that Tony is slowly, but surely, getting better.


End file.
